Monday, March 24, 2008

The Long Awaited Germania Trip

I recently had the opportunity to travel to Germany for work for a week, and took an extra day or two to check out what I’d been missing by not living there.

Here's a list of my observations: Lets do it by the numbers this time:

18 - Times I joked about US currency being worthless (1.5 dollars – 1 euro)

18 - Times that german people laughed at that joke.

1 –Total number of times people from the US laughed at said joke.

5 - Germans who yelled at me for some reason or another - usually for making them late for something. They seem obsessed with being on time!

13 – Germans who seemed suspicious when I told them I didn’t speak German


2.5 – Number of kilometers walked while dragging my suitcase around Garmisch looking for my hotel
1 – number of giant lego men I found to hold hands with while searching for my hotel


92 – number of minutes spent looking at the mountains from the patio of my hotel room. I really miss the mountains.


800 - average millisecond delay between housekeeping knocking on the door and housekeeping kicking the door in

2 - number of times this happened while I was in a towel

23 – Number of trains ridden

5 - Kick-butt EuroMullets(tm) spotted on the train

64 - Minutes I slept in incredibly awkward positions on said trains

200 – Number of wrinkles in my dress shirt for sales visits – No irons in German hotels ☹.

3 – Number of castles visited


27 - Number of David Hasselhoff jokes made by me and B-Mac - for some reason Germans actually like his music!

22 - Meals consumed that centered on the theme of "Pork, Dumpling and Gravy"


1 – Number of times I had pork chops garnished with bacon slices

0 – Number of times I regretted eating bacon covered pork chops

11 – Hours spent watching co-workers
consume large amounts of German beer in bier gartens


6 – Average number of coworkers per day I mocked for having a “tough time” after said hours

5 – The cost in dollars for .2 liters of "Coke Lite" (that's 6.7 fluid ounces for you US types).

6 – Average number of coworkers per day that mocked me for paying 10x more for Coke than they paid for beer

2000 – Number of square miles of fields that would be perfect for playing croquet or frizbee


1 – Days spent skiing on the Austrian/German border

8 - Number of "Schlepp Lifts" (Translated "Hauling Lifts") at the Zugspitz Ski resort, which operated by slipping behind one's butt and schlepping you up the hill.

2 - Number of times I failed epically at the Schlep lift by falling off

300 – Average number of feet I was dragged up the mountain on my stomach after falling from the lift - I refused to let go!


0 – Number of trees at the ski resort


9 - Seconds that I rode on a pig statue for a picture before being asked by a stranger "Are you from Texas?" and begrudgingly admitting "yes". I think it was the triumphant "yee-haw" that gave me away!

80 – Percentage of buildings in Munich that were destroyed in the war

1 – Rebuilt and most amazing town hall – complete with clock and glockenspiel


11 –
My shoe size

11 – Apparent size of the “devil’s foot print” in the Munich Frauenkirche– draw your own conclusions

9 - Times a member of our party was clipped, hit, or yelled at by a bicyclist. It’s tough when you are only used to dodging cars to avoid trains and bicycles – it’s like frogger on steroids.

6 - Average number of TV channels that turn into porn channels after midnight.

9 - Number of movies I watched o
n my laptop between the hours of midnight and 3:00 AM

19% - Sales Tax rate in Germany. No lie.

18 - Number of billboards spotted that wouldn't go over well in the US. Yes, that's a blue condom on a lemon.

38 - Hours spent traveling home from Munich. Thank you, Delta, for losing our pilots.

8 – Krystals (bite sized burgers) consumed in the Atlanta airport while waiting for pilots.

1 - bird hit by our airplane on the approach into Austin



9.5 -
On a scale of 1 to Awesome, the rating of my trip in its entirety – Thanks Germany!


4 comments:

Michelle said...

I LOVED this post! Thanks for sharing your trip and letting me live vicariously through you!

Casey Hyer Photography said...

Great descriptions. It made me smile and laugh. Looks like an epic vacation! The ski photos look awesome.

Bethany said...

This post was so great! How nice that you were able to take a trip on the company and spend a few days for yourself. See why I loved europe so much? It looks like you had a great time. Next time you have to take the wife, that's just not fair!
-bethany

Bethany said...

oh yeah, i remember those "bum lifts" well. I hated those things! they were all over in italy too.